Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Most Dreadful Things About Postpartum Recovery

While visiting my family in California this past week, I got to spend a lot of time with my adorable niece. Watching her play and listening to her talk made me realize just how fast time passes us. It got me thinking about my little one and how he's turning one this year (WHAT?!?), which then made me reminisce about my pregnancy. And then my labor. And my postpartum recovery...

When I thought about all of the amazing things my body went through in this precious year, I couldn't believe it still worked and was walking around unassisted! So, to honor this awesome body of mine that grew another human being, this week's Top Ten list is (...drumroll...) :

The Most Dreadful Things About Postpartum

  1. Hemorrhoids - Before I even knew I was going to ever have children, my mom used to tell me that hemorrhoids were like grape clusters. GRAPE clusters? More like a dozen goose eggs, lady!
  2. A Healing Episiotomy - Need I say more?
  3. Lack of Sleep - Self explanatory
  4. The First Poop - MINE, not the baby's
  5. Being Swollen - Why the heck doesn't anyone tell you?!
  6. The Realization That The Baby In My Belly Didn't Make Me Look Fat. I WAS JUST FAT.
  7. Hair Loss - I never knew how vain I really was until my hair started falling out. Thin hair and a swollen body. Good thing I was already married. Otherwise, how would I ever get another date?
  8. Sex - Who needs it? Not me. (Try telling HBL that...)
  9. Watching My Nipples Turn Into Cow Udders - Again, self explanatory.
  10. Lochia - Why? Why? WHY???

I hope this doesn't scare off any future mommies.

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