Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Origins of My Stomach

WHAT: Weighed Myself
WHEN: This Evening
WEARING: Dark blue leggings for PJ bottoms

I went to give my husband a kiss goodnight before he went to bed, but took a little detour into our bathroom to weigh myself: I’m down .5 pounds after one week! Yes! Feeling oh-so-cocky, I stopped to check myself out in the mirror: I gave myself a smile, a wink and a little wiggle of the eyebrows. Then, I decided to see just what losing .5 pounds looked like on my body.

I did a quick scan of my legs: Not bad.

Then, my butt: Hmmm… that’s peculiar. It’s all flat... Must be where I’m losing weight first... 

Finally, my tummy: WHAT?!

I shouldn’t have checked myself out while wearing those dang leggings, they don't flatter anyone! What was I thinking? ... But still, how is this possible? Losing weight means stuff has to look smaller, not pop out even more! I looked like a sausage whose casing exploded in the middle! Did my butt get mad at me for eating less? Is that why it moved in with my stomach? To commiserate?

FOOTNOTE: I’m sitting on the couch eating Cheez Its right now. Self? Meet Medication. I'll jump back on the wagon after this last handful...


Zeemaid said...

lol. those leggings are rarely flattering on anyone! (and if they do, you just want to smack em don't ya?)

Thanks for stopping by my blog!


Annette Piper said...

OOooh, I do this! I get excited and feel great then I take a look and go..... eeeeek. Then console myself with food. So you're not alone - women the world over understand!

Suburbia Steph said...

Funny ~ I've been wondering the same thing. How is my ass getting flatter, yet my gut getting fuller? It's assbackwards....literally!

Anonymous said...

Too funny! I often wonder how that happens too. It's not fair! Really like your blog. Thanks for stopping by mine.


Helene said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only who does this!!! Why is it that I look so much better in clothes than I do naked??!!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I like you. A woman who understands the importance of self-medicating with Cheez Its is someone whose blog I should be stalking.

Plus, who doesn't have the Mommy Pooch after a baby? I think it is virtually impossible to avoid unless you manage to hire a celebrity trainer who screams at you to ensure you work out and portions out your food.

I have to be going now. My ice cream is melting. :)


Veronica Lee said...

I steer clear of leggings unless I wear it with a long top.


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