And I had to stick my hand in the water to get it.
I clean that toilet bowl, I do. And I’m the only one who uses it, so I know what’s been going on in there. I cleaned it some days ago, so it’s not all skuzzy, but I feel so slimy and dirty right now. I washed my hands a million times with soap, and water so hot, I’m about to start developing water blisters. I also put some germ killing spray from the tips of my fingers to the middle of my forearm. I still feel disgusting.
If you’re curious, I was cutting my toe nails over the toilet bowl. You see, I’m lazy, and I hate to collect all of my nail clippings. Several years ago, I was thinking of a way to clean after myself and still stay lazy – and I thought that if I cut my toe nails over the bowl, I could just flush it down when I’m done! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that the nail cutter would fall into the bowl. A possibility? Sure. But to actually happen? I just feel so gross.
The Top Ten Grossest Things In My Experience
- Postpartum locchia, nasty as it wants to be
- My first postpartum poop *sniffle*
- Accidentally hearing my husband do his Jackson Pollock impersonation in the bathroom
- A 1 ½ inch cockroach flew into the kitchen of my very first apartment. In its attempt to escape, it kept trying to fly into my kitchen’s fluorescent light, making a sound like pebbles hitting glass (cringing)
- When I was in junior high, a boy I had a crush on came to my desk and flirted with me. I flirted back by telling him a joke. Apparently, he had a cold because when he laughed, he blew a neon green booger bubble out of his left nostril
- Sticking my hand in the toilet bowl tonight
- One summer in a rest area bathroom, a huge, green flying bug started buzzing and flying around in my face and hair. I stood there in the stall like some sissy girl, waving my hands at the sides of my head, screaming my head off. My mom was not happy with me
- In high school, during a pep rally, some senior classmen did a skit. At one point, they all put various kinds of liquid/food into their mouths, chewed it up or swished it around, then spit it out into a single jar. The last guy of the group drank the concoction...
- A boyfriend I had my first year of college
- Every single, unfortunate doggy doody disaster. Especially one involving white carpet