Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Oh Gross!

I dropped the nail cutter in the toilet bowl.

And I had to stick my hand in the water to get it.


I clean that toilet bowl, I do. And I’m the only one who uses it, so I know what’s been going on in there. I cleaned it some days ago, so it’s not all skuzzy, but I feel so slimy and dirty right now. I washed my hands a million times with soap, and water so hot, I’m about to start developing water blisters. I also put some germ killing spray from the tips of my fingers to the middle of my forearm. I still feel disgusting.

If you’re curious, I was cutting my toe nails over the toilet bowl. You see, I’m lazy, and I hate to collect all of my nail clippings. Several years ago, I was thinking of a way to clean after myself and still stay lazy – and I thought that if I cut my toe nails over the bowl, I could just flush it down when I’m done! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that the nail cutter would fall into the bowl. A possibility? Sure. But to actually happen? I just feel so gross.

The Top Ten Grossest Things In My Experience

  1. Postpartum locchia, nasty as it wants to be
  2. My first postpartum poop *sniffle*
  3. Accidentally hearing my husband do his Jackson Pollock impersonation in the bathroom
  4. A 1 ½ inch cockroach flew into the kitchen of my very first apartment. In its attempt to escape, it kept trying to fly into my kitchen’s fluorescent light, making a sound like pebbles hitting glass (cringing)
  5. When I was in junior high, a boy I had a crush on came to my desk and flirted with me. I flirted back by telling him a joke. Apparently, he had a cold because when he laughed, he blew a neon green booger bubble out of his left nostril
  6. Sticking my hand in the toilet bowl tonight
  7. One summer in a rest area bathroom, a huge, green flying bug started buzzing and flying around in my face and hair. I stood there in the stall like some sissy girl, waving my hands at the sides of my head, screaming my head off. My mom was not happy with me
  8. In high school, during a pep rally, some senior classmen did a skit. At one point, they all put various kinds of liquid/food into their mouths, chewed it up or swished it around, then spit it out into a single jar. The last guy of the group drank the concoction...
  9. A boyfriend I had my first year of college
  10. Every single, unfortunate doggy doody disaster. Especially one involving white carpet


Veronica Lee said...

Eeewww! When I dropped my scrungy into the toilet bowl, I tried to flush it away. It didn't work and I had to fish it out with my bare hands.
BTW, I get all those awesome pictures from my online friends and cousins(there are many of them) who live in almost every part of the world except the North and South Poles.

Suburbia Steph said...

A safer bet might be to just sit and place a trash can under your feet and let them fall into the trash can! LOL Just wait until your baby gets older and becomes obsessed with all things toilet related & you have to fish misc. toys, keys, etc. from the toilet! Get some of those elbow length rubber gloves stat!

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

I so know what you mean about the toilet! I feel like I have to fish something out, every week! Though mine is usually a toy or something that could cause major problems! That is gross, toughing meat is gross to me- I can't wash my hands enough to try to feel clean after wards!yuk! I laughed so hard at your list- hilarious. The green bubble while the boy laughed was too much=))) I needed the laughs thanks!

Anonymous said...

Okay, your blog is hilarious and adorable - been there on the clippers thing (ew), ITTTTA with #1, and #3 is literally making me LMAO! Thank you!

Maelstrom said...

Home Depot sells boxes of disposable latex and plastic gloves. My hands no longer touch toilet water. Not that I'm afraid of that, I'm tough you know.

Fearless Mom said...

My husband clips his nails outside. That way, he doesn't have to pick it up. We lose a lot of clippers that way, though, because they're in his car or backpack or who knows where.

Zeemaid said...

yup those are gross alright. my top grossest thing is the poop diaper blowouts when the poop goes all the way down their legs to their toes in their sleeper and up their back and there is no possible way to undress them without touching poop and they're wearing one of those onesie undershirts so you have to literally pull the poopy thing over their head. Ack.

Daiquiri said...

#5 is hysterically funny! I can just see it...

Thanks for your sweet comment and for being a "follower" I the only one who hates that term? It sounds like we're all building our own little cults or something. Anyway. I'm glad to have you reading :)

Have a great...less :)

Lady Christie said...

My children and me have dropped so many things in the toilet, I feel your pain. I really hate when my kids drop some type of clothing in it that just absolutely grosses me out.

Mary said...

I know how that can be, with the bugs. I HATE bugs- they scare me to DEATH. It's kinda embarassing.


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