That includes childbirth.
Fun Fact: While I was pregnant, I convinced myself that I could easily ignore the pains of childbirth.
My God, it was agonizing! The contractions!
I did everything I could to lessen the pain. I walked around my room. I grunted out loud. I squatted on the floor. By the time I got to the last three centimeters, I didn’t care what I looked like, what I said, or who stuck their hand in me to check my dilation. All I could do was cry to HBL, “I can’t do this, babe! I want to go home! Should I get the epidural? SHOULD I???”
I will go natural, again, for the next baby. Insanity.
Top Ten Things I Thought/Said/Experienced During Childbirth
- Losing all my shame
- This is hard. And it hurts
- Experiencing REAL begging
- Why can’t I remember who told me contractions would feel like really bad period cramps? I want them dead.
- To HBL: “Stop talking to me. I don’t want to hear your voice.”
- I don’t want to push anymore. Why aren’t they offering me a C-Section?
- To my mom: “What do you mean I tore past my episiotomy?”
- To the doctor: “Please, just get him ooouuuttt!”
- I had a traumatic ‘First Poop’. It involved my mom, Depends underwear, and falling asleep on the bathroom floor
- Having hemorrhoids is like having a painful, throbbing goose egg between The Cheeks