Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Poop Stories

*Please be advised: You are about to read a post involving a very proud, first-time Mommy discuss baby bowels. If you find this type of talk off-putting, please, avert your eyes.


In the past several weeks, Monkey has made the transition from one hundred percent milk drinking to 60/40 milk and solids. It has been a most exciting time for our family, because watching this little guy eat real food is akin to watching someone open presents on Christmas day, every day.

But, just like Christmas, there’s always a mess to clean up afterwards. Consequences, really, to all this ‘solid food joy’, the not-so-pleasant side to changing eating habits… dealing with the changes ‘down there’? Lemme ‘splain:

Frequency: There has been an increase in baby butt activity. All of a sudden, I’m going from changing two to three poopy diapers a day, to nine! I wonder if it’s genetic, because if it is, my sweet boy seems to be taking after his father. It brings a tear to my eye…

Texture: Without getting into too much detail, he went from ‘Natural Peanut Butter’ to various shaped ‘Playdoh nuggets’.

Color: Like Skittles, it’s the colors of the rainbow, nowadays.

Smell: As soon as I open his diaper, *POOF*, there’s an odd whiff of morning breath! Some may say, “Oh come on! I’ll take morning breath over poopy smell any day!” No my friends. No. Don’t say such things. ‘Essence De Morning Breath’ is not something to mess with seven times a day. That’s why it’s called morning breath and not all day breath – smelling it once during the day is all one can stand and still stay alive.


Ah, friends. My life has turned into Monkeyland, and the topic of interest is always my baby’s doo-doo pie. This phase will pass - and not soon enough for some of you, I know - but let me enjoy this moment. Soon enough, he’ll be able to use the bathroom on his own, and all I’ll have to sustain me are the sweet memories of washing doo from under my nails, and holding my breath to the point of tears. Sweet, sweet memories.

24 comments:

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I don't know about anybody else, but I thought this was beautiful. I've never seen such a loving Ode to Poo. Well done! :)

- Margaret

(you commented above me on SITS today!)

Insanity Kim said...

I have two post about poo and one on farts; you'll only get love and pats on the back from me! Congrats on the new phase of life with baby!! :)

Justice Fergie said...

lol - sweet memories indeed! i remember those days. and actually, you will be dealing with poop and pee for a looooong time, honey.

take it from me:
http://www.mamalaw.com/2009/04/not-most-appetizing-post-i-admit.html

Rachel said...

Love the blog! I am following you back from MBC....

Sweet Serendipity said...

Ah the joys of motherhood. We should all be honorary nurses.

ModernMom said...

LOL The things we find joy from when we are Mommies.
Really did laugh out loud at your morning breath comparison.

Mary K Brennan said...

Welcome to the club! But I need to ask: "Nine times..really? Sweet Jesus, what is that child eating? At that rate, what isn't he eating? Hopefully things will slow down soon. Enjoy this time.

Tami said...

LOL, uh... you still have to deal with the poopies even after they go in the bathroom.. MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY! Look it's florescent greeeeeen! Looks like a snake toooooo! You walk in and WHAM.. you instantly have tears in your eyes. Awwwww how I wish I didn't have to go in there.. I BEG hubby.. pleade..bribe him with sex.. he still REFUSES! LOL

Good luck!

You crack me up Jennifer!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Love it! I remember those days well... ;)

Banteringblonde said...

doo doo pie? that cracks me up! We had a little poop withholding issue here ugh

Veronica Lee said...

That was truly a beautiful ode to poop!
Thanks for the chuckle!!

Buckeroo said...

That made me laugh! :)

I always forget to hold my breath and then WHAM! I reel from the smell... but (sigh!) I did want to be Florence Nightingale when I was little. Never bargained for this, though.

shelley said...

hey jennifer,
poop stories are always funny! sometimes it's the "small stuff" that cracks me up! ooo someday you'll remember all of this and smile!

o yes, duck duck goose... now you are it, check out my blog... i tagged you...

happy day!
shelley

K said...

That first baby poop is exciting stuff.

The amazing rainbow of colors was shocking to me.

Swoozie said...

Jennifer! You make me giggle and I luv you for it!

It true excitement that only a mother can understand......

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

I don't know why, but whenever my kids were little, poop was always a big topic of discussion. My sister and I could sit and talk about it all the time. DROVE OUR HUSBANDS NUTS. They didn't get it! Although... now that I think about it, it was a little crazy.

Blog hopping and I keep seeing your comments, thought I better come by and say hello!

Kristen Andrews said...

oh my goodness, now for me I have a poop holder so we do a dance when our guy poops. I even have to keep a poop calendar.

Helene said...

Awwww, poop....it's a never-ending topic when you're a mom. When I get together with friends, somehow the conversation always ends up on poop. This was a beautiful post, that someday your son will get a good giggle from!

Quiskaeya said...

Sniff, sniff what a beautiful tribute to baby ca-ca. LOL

I needed a good laugh this morning and you served it up well!!

fashiongrail said...

Ahhh, only a mommy can truly appreciate your post!
I just finished potty training my son but I'll miss those days!

Tess said...

I had to laugh at this post-I get the eye rolling whenever I try to talk to anyone about topics like this!

Mommy24cs said...

haha at the "playdoh nuggets"!! You think it's colorful now wait until he is eating fruit snacks. We're talking a whole new spectrum of color! Sorry to say though, you have awhile to go with the wiping of the butt. Carson is 4 and still hasn't mastered the feat :o)

Marshmallow Circus said...

Ha ha, I have a 5 week old so I am in that obsessing-over-poop zone.
;0

Momma Snail said...

You crack me up! Happy Mother's Day!

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