Monday, June 29, 2009

A Letter To New Moms

This post is dedicated to my two friends, N, a first-time mommy who gave birth just a few days ago, and M, a soon-to-be-mommy, enjoying being a first-time preggo:

Guys, welcome to your new life. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve been enrolled in Motherhood University, and guess what? You’ll be a sixth year senior for the rest of your life.

I’m not here to rain on your parade. I’m here to help you. Lovingly. Chances are, you’re skimming over what I’m writing anyway, since you’re so heavily engrossed in First Time Mommy Bliss. That’s okay. I expect that. What I want is for you to pull this out when you finally need it, so you won’t ever say, “How come no one ever told me all this when I was pregnant?”

For your future use, the most useful advice I can offer you, according to my experience:


• If someone offers to hold or take care of your baby, let them do it. Then go. To. Sleep.

• All kinds of things are going to happen to your body. Weird, unusual things. Don’t be embarrassed. EVERY mother has gone through it. Want proof? Ask one of them

• Do all of these things: Sleep. Sleep. Eat. Love on your baby. Sleep. Sleep. The particular order will be up to you (PLEASE do this, as it could be your last chance. Sooner rather than later, you will be begging someone to let you sleep and eat, but won’t get to)


• Let your house go to pot. It may hurt to watch your lovely, previously childless house turn into a pigsty, but it’s okay. You know why? Because your house will never be clean again. You have a child now, might as well get used to it

• Don’t be proud. For goodness sake, you are not Superwoman, no one thinks you should be Superwoman, no one wants you to be Superwoman. If someone says to sleep/rest/stop doing something or other, listen to them and DO IT

• There may be moments when you feel so completely overwhelmed, all you want to do is cry. Go ahead and let it out. Your husband may think you are going nuts, you may even think you’re going nuts. You are not going nuts. Just cry. You'll feel so much better

• When you’re a new mom, everyone has advice for you. Heck, even when you’re an experienced mom, everyone has advice for you! Sometimes you want it, most times you don’t. Don’t worry, there’s a solution! Acquire a new skill: selective hearing. You’ll learn how to tune out those opinions/people you don’t care for in no time!


Every new mother, regardless of her previous experiences with children, can be heard saying any of the following:

1. “Agh! The baby is crying! What do I do???”

2. “He’s _ (FILL IN THE BLANK) _!!! Is that normal?!”

If you find yourself asking any of these questions, don’t be alarmed. Go to your nearest Safe Person (a mom) and she will be more than willing to help.


Sleep. You’ll probably not get to for another twenty-five years.


Buckeroomama said...

VERY sound advice, my dear! Agree 101%.

Mary K Brennan said...

If only every pregnant woman had a friend like you. It's a shame that most of us have to figure it all out ourselves. These girls are in good hands.

Kristen Andrews said...

great advice, I never listened and slept when I should have wish I had listened.

lz said...

I alwasy got around unwanted advice by just saying "This is what her doctor suggested." Seemed to usually work...
Also, create a to do list with small, easy tasks. Post on your fridge. When someone visits and asks if they can help, tell them you hav e a list of what you need to do on your fridge and anything there would be so helpful. I didn't do this with #1 - felt funny - but it worked like a charm with #2!
And number 3 - babies cry. Sometimes for no reason at all. nothing works to sooth them in a second. Just keep trying, and be ok if you have to walk away for a minute. Are they fed, dry and burped? He may just want t cry...let him.
Good luck, new mamas!

Courtney said...

awesome advice that will almost always fall on deaf ears :) Aren't we all guilty of receiving this advice and never following it :) Looking back, I so should have slept more and let the housework go. I was an idiot! Heres to hoping all new moms follow this sound advice!

ModernMom said...

Great advice! Hope they listen:)
I was especially guilty of not being able to let the house go. I was so worried about what others would think! Ahhh. Should have just let it go and caught some zzzz's.

blueviolet said...

You said it! Everything is so much more manageable when you're rested!

Alicia said...

LOL..I'll have to agree w/ ya!!!!

The Blonde Duck said...

This is very good advice. And very terrifying.

Alicia said...

amen to that! i should take your advice now...the kids are sleeping, and i'm blogging!! off to take a nap!

Kimberly said...

So true! I joke about it all the time with my mom or hubbys mom that as soon they are around I disappear. Nap, hang with friends - childless, grocery store, whatever to get some me time again.

Its been almost six years and I'm still waiting for the day I sleep soundly again!

CenzLuccsMom said...

All true and wise advice!!! Sleep is what I miss most. And now that the boys are sleeping 12 hours a night, I am going to be starting the exhaustion all over again withe the new baby!! I kind of forgot about that part somewhat but your post brings it all back, LOL!!!!!!

Zeemaid said...

wonderful advice. I particularly wish I'd worried about the house less and slept more with my first. By the time 2 and 3 came along, sleep no longer was an option. sigh... ;0)


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