Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Thong Song

I woke up this morning. With a wedgie.

I was deep in sleep mode, when I was rudely awoken by what seemed like thirty yards of fabric stuck between my cheeks. In my semi-lucid state, I dug it out, and went back to sleep. But darn it if that fabric didn’t shift with my body and bury itself in the abyss again!

As I lay there, awake and angry about all the action my bottom was getting, I seriously thought about throwing away the underwear I was wearing - if I wanted any kind of material stuffed in there, I’d wear a thong! And mama doesn’t do thongs.

Personally, I prefer not to wear thongs. No matter what, I always feel like I have to pull it out. But I have several girlfriends who are of this mentality:

Thongs or Die

The thong community is a pretty passionate group, huh?

Now, let’s get an idea of where their passion has taken them:

They won a small - though short lived - victory in the 80s, when exercise leotards went thong:




I think that some of their more enthusiastic members have been working hard this past decade to bring some of that glory back:




Though they’ve owned Brazil and South Beach in Miami, for quite some time now, I think the vast majority of their members are discreet, preferring the style just so they can avoid VPL (Visible Panty Lines):




Thong Sisters (and Brothers, so I hear), I applaud your enthusiasm and your hard work in trying to ‘free’ the rest of us granny panty wearers. If I weren’t so afraid of floss chaffing, I could maybe be one of you.



28 comments:

Alicia said...

Lol...just go commando...problem solved!

Mary said...

Oh gosh... I think that hippo just scarred me for life, CG or not! Haha. When I'm walking through Old Navy or something and just see a box full of thongs just sittin' there, I wonder how- and why- people wear them.

blueviolet said...

I hesitate to think what kind of residue that string of floss is collecting out of people's cheeks every day.

I'm sticking with my granny panties.

Buckeroomama said...

Hilarious!! I have to agree with blueviolet... ugh.

Nessa said...

I do agree with the previous posters, I am a granny panties gal. Thonngs are just icky!

The hippo is scary and hilarious at the same time! Thanks for starting my morning with a laugh!

Tami said...

I have to say I'm a commando gal myself! Started with the last pregnancy, I'd wear my granny panties and they'd roll down my extra large tummy. Frustrated, I took scissors at work, went off to the ladies room and CUT THEM OFF. I've NEVER LOOKED BACK!

Sweet Serendipity said...

Rofl, you're a trip.

I used to wear thongs all the time and my husband complains that I don't anymore. I just can't stand them now.


http://eclecticschooling.blogspot.com

Miss Behavin said...

I'll wave my granny panties to that!

I can't do the thong thing anymore. I used to, with white pants or shorts, but now - no thanks!

I did find a pair of granny panties at Victoria's Secret that don't show panty lines.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That's too funny! I wear thongs, but don't seem to have a flossing issue... ;) I also don't have them displayed above my waistband, so I'm good...I think! ;)

FaithChick said...

Oh I am so with you here. Momma got to much back for thongs. That thing would get lost who knows where. Plus I think some people trying to avoid panty lines really need to be wearing a pair of spanks not a thong. Funny post!

Banteringblonde said...

haha that video is hilarious ... i've watched it three times! I'm a thong wearer but I have secret .... i don't wear panties to bed - i wear dh's undies so i figure i'm ok? lol

MommaD said...

the invention that most perplexes me is the thong pantyliner? WHAT! and WHY? if you need lining then you need panties, not dental floss, thank you!

The Bumbles said...

I'm with ya! I am constantly in search of the seamless panty to avoid those panty lines without having to subject myself to the thong - aka permanent wedgie. Boyshort styles work pretty well - Maidenform makes quite a few good ones.

Grand Pooba said...

Eeeek! Those pictures are hilarious! The worst is a muffin top combined with the floss showing. *shudders*

Anissa said...

I hate that! I don't do thongs either -- the picture with the thong hanging out is nasty and trashy to me! Thanks for coming by!

Alicia said...

LOL Jennifer!!!!!

I'm a grammy panty wearing mama! :)

Mommy24cs said...

LOL, you crack me up! I'm a thong girl but please don't hold that against me haha ;p

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Argh! The thong song- I hate thongs and just thinking about it makes me want to pick my butt-lol

ahappyhippy mom said...

I was a thong user before having my kiddos. Then my butt expanded and the thong become a torturous piece of floss. OUCH!

Jenjen @GottaLoveMom said...

Haha! I'll stay with VS cheekies :)

BrnEyedGal said...

Oh I need a moment to collect myself...LOL

That was so funny. I am so with you on NOT being a thong wearer...
Hey,
You can get very pretty and sexy regular panies these days!!! :)

Helene said...

I don't do thongs either. I'm somewhere in the middle between granny panties and bikini underwear. At night, I do go commando....I dunno why. It's comfortable, I suppose.

Veronica Lee said...

LOL, I'm sticking with granny panties too!!

Stacie said...

You crack me up!! haha

Thongs are one thing - but even thongs are getting smaller and smaller. At some point we are just going to tie floss around our waist and call it good.

thatgirlblogs said...

no thongs! mad crush on the hippo, though...

stopping by from SITS.

ModernMom said...

LOL Don't knock it till you've tried it!

Dan River Mama said...

I absolutely despise thongs, on me I mean, I don't care either way about what other folks wear. I have a super-sharp tail bone. I have yet to find a thong that did not rub my tail bone, to the point that it feels bruised. I would love to wear them, but have never been able...

Kekibird said...

I sleep commando, butt (pun intended) in my current weight category, I wear the full-butt panties during the day.

Just too much work to pull things out with all that space back there.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...