Point Two: In my quest to take care of my body, I am becoming more increasingly alarmed by the fact that it is exactly what I am lacking (sleep) that is bringing me closer to looking like Abe Vigoda versus Sophia Loren.
I’m reading this stupid anti-aging book that is obviously aimed at my childless sisters (or my empty nesting ones), since the author clearly is listing two things as the reason for not getting any sleep: work or partying. The author does write a very quick blip about mom’s who aren’t getting any sleep:
“Or maybe you are a first-time mom adjusting to a new baby.”
This is all you can give me? This is it? That’s all? That’s it?
I suppose the violence in my response comes from the fact that I had another sleepless night and am writing this post in the wee hours of the morning while Baby Monkey and HBL sleep peacefully and soundly.
I suppose it is also due to the fact that though I am getting to bed at a decent hour, attempting to catch those elusive ZZZs, I wake up five to six times a night, regardless, because of my crying child and my “sleep through the Apocalypse” husband.
I suppose it is because most people’s advice for me is to just ‘go to sleep when the baby is asleep’. Big. Fat. Chance. What with trying to fall asleep, then falling asleep for ten minutes, then being forcefully woken up by baby, then getting out of bed, then spending time comforting the babe, then putting the babe back to sleep, and then me getting into bed again, the cycle, that vicious, vicious cycle, continues.
Has my rant sterilized you potential parents out there? I’m sorry. In all true, bottom of my heart honesty, there really is no other joy than to see the cuteness that is the Fruit of Your Loins growing and playing and loving on you. Your heart will explode several times a day from this kind of love. So have kids. They are a blessing.
But on the other hand, speaking from a place of vanity, censor-less frankness, and serious, serious sleep deficit: I want to sleep. I want to look as young as I can for as long as possible. I want to follow the rules of this book and sleep. I want to follow the rules of this book and reverse the aging that has taken place because of stress and sleeplessness. I want to follow the rules of this book and stop the aging process so I can look at my face in the mornings and not worry every time I look in the mirror that I’m slowly beginning to resemble this: