Monday, September 14, 2009

Working My Angles

I have a confession. I’ve been staring at my face in the mirror. A lot. And while staring at myself, I have made an incredible discovery:

I’m growing a baby double chin.

Whaaa hapa?

All the skin on my face seems to be falling and pooling in the area under my chin and above my neck. It’s getting so fleshy. This is a most peculiar situation...

Anyway, I have been actively fighting gravitational pull. No, not with diet and exercise, that would be too practical! No, I’ve been fighting the good fight by practicing my head angles in the mirror. Specifically, my head angles for pictures.

It seems vain. Okay, it is vain, sure. But come on, in ten years time, when I look at pictures of myself, I want to see youthful hotness. Not a pajama wearing, double chinned, messy haired lady! There’s enough time for that when I start using a cane!

So, until that time comes, and/or until I can get a grip on my cheeseburger eating ways, I will be practicing my angles, jutting out my chin, stretching out that fatty skinsation so as to avoid looking like this:



14 comments:

James Ricardo The Actor said...

BOO, WORK YOUR ANGLES! MY RIGHT SIDE WITH MY DIMPLE IS MY BETTER!

Buckeroomama said...

Heh, I found myself doing that on a couple of occasions, too. Well, look at Paris Hilton. Why do you think she always looks the same in every photo, regardless of what she wears? She's learned where her 'best' side is and always does the same pose to highlight only her best angle.

blueviolet said...

I hear this. Oh baby, I hear it.

Theta Mom said...

You are too funny and that picture is a riot. The realities of getting...ehem...older?

Insanity Kim said...

Yes! Yes! Just short of lifting the saggy flesh with invisible tape used for fancy gifts, I am doing everything possible to get rid of mine! Darn you gravity and hormonal aging! Darn you!!!!!

Mary K Brennan said...

Gotta love this age thing. The cabinets are packed to the brim with magical cream. I just need to find out when the magic will begin.

Deb said...

Creative solutions, that's what I call that! I'm going to need some angles for my backside and my tummy, too, let me know when you've got some good ideas. Oh, to be a woman.

The Blonde Duck said...

Everyone can get a double chin if they get caught in the wrong light! Don't worry!

Mighty M said...

Ha ha... A loooooong time ago I read in a magazine how you can "strech" your chin to work the muscles so you don't get a double chin. I did them diligently. Still break one out once in a while. ;-)

Helene said...

I can't even look at pictures of myself these days without thinking "Man, I look old"!!! They just had an article in Parents Magazine about how to get flattering pics of yourself!!

The Bumbles said...

My cousin tried to give me tips for photos back a year ago at my brother's wedding. She pulls it off every time - I didn't get the hang of it, try as I might!!!

Veronica Lee said...

LOL, Jennifer, you're one funny gal!!

The next time you smile for the camera, try touching the roof of your mouth with your tongue and make sure the photographer is standing at a level higher than you. I read from somewhere that this trick ought to work!!

Alicia said...

Hahahaha!! That is sooooooooooo true!! I do the same thing.

I tell everyone the same thing, "It's all about the angle."

Uh..it's not like before when I looked pretty good in any pose! Not anymore!! LOLOL!

sheila said...

OMG! I KNOW~! lol. Don't you think that it's funny that ya look in the mirror everyday and you don't look all that different? Then you look at a photo and OMG it's a reality slap in the face! lol

I looked at a pic the other day and think I saw Jay Leno staring back at me. :)

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