Monday, November 30, 2009

I Locked Myself In The Bathroom, And Then Everything Was Good

Yesterday was hectic, to say the least. Paying bills, dealing with a hysterical baby, laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping - I was on the verge of a Calgon moment, but held it together.

On any given day, this kind of To-Do list wouldn’t have me feeling like I was just lobotomized like Jessica Lange in the movie “Frances”, but yesterday was just that kind of funky day.

I was handling myself pretty nicely all day long. But somewhere between feeding Monkey his dinner and washing him up, my Meltdown Button was pressed. I stood at the sink in the kitchen and used up all my strength to say to HBL in a calm voice, “I. NEED. A. BREAK.”

Yes. It was an ‘all caps’ moment.

I handed the Monkey over to HBL, climbed over the baby gate, and headed straight for the only room in our house with a lock: the bathroom.

I sat on that toilet seat and cried. I just let it go – my fatigue, stress, worries, frustrations. I tell you, I needed that cry in a bad way. I can usually get it out by watching a super sad movie, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to get that into my schedule. I think I had a sort of ‘crying build up’.

During my little episode, Monkey kept beating on the door for me to come out. Then, HBL kept coming by to make sure I was okay. But that irritated me more, and every time he’d come around, I raised my voice, “Can’t I get a break?!”

Of course, midway through my crying, I realized that I was having a serious pity party, so I pulled myself together and instead, used my time wisely by giving myself a mini manicure. Then, when I was done with that, I sat there quietly and read a magazine.

Tired? Always.

My life as a SAHM? Maybe.

PMS? I think so.

I need a vacation.

28 comments:

Alicia said...

Oh, my friend..I've had many of those days!!! All we want is just a little time alone, right? Not too much to ask.

I feel ya!! And I know it escalates during that "time of the month."

HUGS!!!

Buckeroomama said...

I've had a few of those days myself. One part of me kinda feels guilty for losing it, but then another part of me says I can cry if I want (or need!) to. I get my "me" time in the loo, too. :)

BrnEyedGal said...

OMGosh...I think I have one of those episodes daily...LOL
Why is it that the husbands cannot entertain the kiddos long enough for us to just relax? (Well, some husbands, not all!)
I could use a vacation too...where should we go? Hawaii? Florida? Italy? Hmmm, sounds good but I may have to settle for a night out for coffee and a good book right? :)

Take Care...(and a break)
Danielle

James Ricardo The Actor said...

Boo, come to New York City for the weekend. We can see Broadway shows, eat lots, have some wine, and go to the brooklyn tabernacle to get our praise on! LOVE YA!

blueviolet said...

I'm glad you just walked away and took some time for yourself. I'm sorry it was in the bathroom though. :(

I hope you get a vacation of some kind soon!

ZenMom said...

There's nothing like a good cry. Oh, I have so many of those moments. And yes, the bathroom is the place.

Sorry you were having one of those days, but glad you let it all out. Hope today is better.

Mighty M said...

Oh, I hate those kind of days. But don't worry you are NOT the only woman who has done this. The bathroom is just about the only room I can "lock" for a few minutes. Wishing you a better Monday...

CenzLuccsMom said...

I don't think people understand that being a SAHM is like having a 24 hour a day job that goes on endlessly with no breaks. My Hubby is a teacher and I told him ot picture taking your class of whining students with you EVERYWHERE including your lunch break and the bathroom!!! I have had those moments (more recently than ever) and sometimes you just need to walk away and lock yourself in a room where no one can cling to you and suck every last bit of your energy out of you. I find that a hot bath recharges me in those times of claustrophobia and panic where i cannot get away from the neediness and mayhem.
I hope your manicure and moments of solitude helped!!

Lyr said...

Days like that just ruin your week! Sorry things have been so CRAZY! I'll be praying for ya! Hope things get better!

Helene said...

I've had moments like that too (many many times) and I think sometimes a good hard cry like that does help. It's like a great release of all the stress and chaos we have as mothers and wives.

Maybe it's time for HABL to install a lock on your bedroom door...so you don't have to sit on the potty next time you need a good cry!

The Blonde Duck said...

I hate days like that. I hope you get to feeling better...

Veronica Lee said...

I've had those days too. Hope you're feeling better today.

((hugs))

Six Feet Under Blog said...

I know about those days!

Courtney said...

Hope your days get better than normally do! I think we have all had a "bathroom" moment! But I must say you were very productive with your time!

Kristin said...

That was me a few days ago. I did the EXACT same thing. Mama needed a break and the only safe place was the bathroom. I hope you're feeling better now!

Mommy24cs said...

There are so many days I feel so overwhelmed. Then I feel guilty for getting so upset because I see my hubby working so hard at work and being stressed out himself. So many times I look at my kids and wish to be their age again with no worries. *Sigh*

Amber Page Writes said...

I had one of those episodes last night. Except mine ended in full-throated, hiccuping sobs and brought my husband running.

It's tough being a woman, ain't it?

I need a vacation too.

Insanitykim said...

Hang in there girl; give yourself those breaks and time to replenish and gain perspective. Hugs to ya!

Mommy Is Green said...

Sometimes you just need a moment. It was good you did your nails and took some time to read too. It's like therapy for moms. -Victoria from MBC Follow Me Club

The Blonde Duck said...

I hope you're feeling better!

Buckeroomama said...

I tagged you in a Christmas meme --

http://buckeroomama.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-meme.html

Do play along if you feel like it (no obligation!). :)

Shelle said...

Think yourself lucky...I have no lock!!!

Mrs. Fish aka Two Fish said...

Mama told me there will be days like this (Van Morrison) and I tell you what...we all need a moment. or 30, or an hour. Good for you for taking your moment. We can't all be the perfect SAHM. ((HUGS))

Zeemaid said...

way to get yourself together and do something really important like a manicure and read. That must have made you feel so much better. A locked bathroom door is a blessing indeed!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Yeah, that happens. Hope all is well now.

What a great blog! I am following you from MBC!

Annette Piper said...

I think we all have days like that! Especially at this time of the year, when so much is happening. I'm all for a holiday - but its only going to be in my mind for the time being!

ModernMom said...

Oh I do think we have all been there. Hope your tears washed away the blues. Sometimes I think it's helpful to just have a good cry!

Kekibird said...

Holidays, plus PMS, plus all the extra we have to do to be ready for EVERYTHING that happens in a 2 week period can TOTALLY warrant a mommy time out. Good for you for taking one. Big hugs.

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