(Don't worry, it's all approved by my OB!)
Every morning and after every shower:
1st layer: Whatever body lotion I'm using
2nd layer: Palmer’s Stretch Mark Cream*
Before bed in the evening:
Mama Bee Belly Butter* by Burt's Bee's
When I feel itchy during the day:
Straight up Vitamin E Oil
Flax Seed Oil
Pretty normal kind of rotation, right? Made me proud! Until this morning. While lubing up, I noticed some peculiar splotches on my tummy in the mirror. Turning this way and that, I was hoping I was just seeing things, but on closer inspection: new stretch marks.
(Crying a little inside)
You would think with all the money I'm shelling out on anti-stretch mark products, they'd at least work a teensy weensy bit. Nope. In which case, you're probably wondering why I continue to hack away at this lost cause? Well, a girl's gotta dream, people. A girl's always got to have a dream.
Here are some points I found about using stretch mark products (this is according to Wikipedia, because they know everything, and if they know everything, they've got to be an authority on stretch marks, right? Right?!):
1. Between 75% and 90% of women develop stretch marks to some degree during pregnancy
2. A German research team tested the application of massage and cream and found that only one-third of women with this treatment developed stretch marks, while two-thirds of an untreated control group developed stretch marks
3. Another randomized study tested cocoa butter. The result was that 44% of the women using cocoa butter had stretch marks after pregnancy, while 55% using a placebo did, but this was not found to be a statistically significant difference
(Did you reach your max capacity on stretch mark info yet? No? Awesome!)
This is what the Stretch Mark Institute (who knew there was one?) said about it:
“The customer reviews about Palmer’s stretch mark cream range from glowing praise for the product to the bitter view that it’s “crap”. The usual unfortunate criteria apply: some women are genetically predisposed to get stretch marks no matter what, and some women have babies so enormous that no amount of preventative measures will keep stretch marks at bay.”
Duh. And then they went on to say THIS on another page:
“One rule of thumb is to not put on fat during puberty or pregnancy, because that will stretch the skin even more...“
Don't "put on fat"? Really?! Whatever.
It boils down to this: If I want to continue to use a product that says it'll help me avoid getting stretch marks, I should go right on ahead, because there's a good chance it might work... and then again, it might not.
And so I don't go down as a completely pathetic and vain woman (who should be happy to be blessed to be pregnant with a healthy baby), I'll be visiting The Shape of a Mother so I can get over myself, okay?
I’m sorry, folks. Please excuse me for unleashing ALL my hormones on the internet today.
*BTW: This is an affiliate link. Please do NOT feel like you have to click on the link at all! I'm just letting you know what I've been using in case anyone out there was curious!