Monday, August 1, 2011

How I Made My Mom Cry: Guest Post By Unborn Baby Girl

I’m sure most of you have already forgotten how crowded it gets in here. I mean, I’ve heard of people complaining about a four hundred square foot apartment in big cities, but try living in a single square foot, you big baby! Four hundred square feet sounds pretty palatial now, doesn’t it?

Photo by carvalho
My mom and I have had a great relationship – that is, until recently. I don’t know what’s happened in the past couple months. One moment I had room to stretch out my legs, then the next, I wake up to find my head pressed up against five slices of a large pizza!

Did I do something wrong? No! How could I? I mind my own business, growing up in here! The least she could do is give me the space to do it!

Anyway, back to yesterday’s episode: We spent the day out of the house, getting stuff for my arrival and mom did a lot of walking and standing. It was great for me; I actually had some room to relax in here. But I should’ve known that wasn’t gonna last.

As soon as we got home, my mom made a beeline for the couch and just sat there and sat there and sat there - some nonsense about being “tired”. When I realized she wasn’t getting up anymore for the evening, that just set me off.

I started kicking and scratching and rolling around in here to let her know what I thought about her sitting down and squishing me up. I had to show her who was the boss! I found a great spot - down there - and just kept digging my foot in it over and over again. Oh man, you should've been there! I heard her talking really loud to my dad and before I let her have it again, she started crying!

YES! I win!

That’ll teach her. She should wait till I’m done baking in here. When I come out, she’s really gonna know who’s in charge. Sleep? Showers? Having her body back? Oh, I don’t think so, lady.

I don't think so.

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