Monday, January 9, 2012

Fast / Gas

HBL and I are on our second day of the Daniel Fast.

HBL decided he wanted to do it after our church announced they’d be starting it this weekend (he did a short fast last year and liked it). I had no intention of ever fasting because I. Don’t. Like. Not. Eating. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided I might like to try it. Since this fast isn’t about NOT eating, but abstaining from all the good things in “food life” (i.e. fried stuff, junky stuff, sweet stuff, fat stuff), I figured if I’m gonna have to cook this stuff for him, I may as well see what it’s all about!

*sniffle*

I’m still exclusively pumping breast milk for Little Girl, so I couldn’t really go whole hog bacon - I’ve had to modify it a bit and am still eating animal protein (chicken, eggs, fish) - but other than that, I’m following the fast.

Lemme tell you about eating kabillions of fruits and vegetables:

Poot.

If you were to visit my home, I’d advise you to say goodbye to your family ‘cause you’d be walking into a gas chamber.

If you took a picture of all the bacteria in my gut, you’d see them sitting in their armchairs, snoozin’ and farting like good old Uncle Joe after Thanksgiving dinner.

If you happened to look over at me to see what I was doing, I’d be leaning over to the left.

If you could smell…

Besides the massive headache I have from sugar withdrawal (MAY-jor!), my butt bugging out like this is just unnecessarily RUDE. I thought eating healthy was good for you? Instead, I'm excusing myself and holding my breath every two minutes – that ain’t good! Someone shoulda warned me! Think of my children, man!

Anyway, I do hope these twenty-one days are fruitful. I don’t want to focus on the food and what it’s doing to my body. I want to focus on my purpose for fasting: so I can be open to God and His leading, right?

… Leading me to an open window so I can breathe...

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